junior, part II / wishy washy redux
If you ever want to talk about wishy-washy moods, today cuts the mustard. Rant on, please.
Damn, where do I start? Well, Junior spends the night. After waking up, taking my meds, and falling asleep (don’t freak, it’s gonna be pretty common), I wake up around 10:30am. Can’t eat, won’t sleep, I watch my nephew play. All I do is take naps and eat ice cream all day. Yeah, that’s all. Oh yeah, I sit all pissed and depressed no matter who I talk to.
I’m trying to be more for everyone else, but I’m having the worst time trying to do the things that I want to do, because of the fact that I just don’t want to do much anymore. I’m sure it’s temporary, but damn! I want to stay as distant as I can from Lifeforce and Centerpiece, and if there’s anything that I just really need to keep my hands on, it’s PEG and Formatique (who’s gonna kill me anyway, I’ve missed so many of their meetings). I don’t mind doing these things, but DAMN, why am I still so depressed about these meetings? Give you an example- the meeting that I was in tonight was definitely something that needed to be had, but didn’t have any control over. Throwing rocks at me could have been much more fun.
Oh, and lets not talk about me feeling upset for paying for software, and then getting general consensus that maybe I should learn something else. First, why do I need to learn blogging first? I have some very interesting logic that satisfies my need for responses, but again after I dedicate myself to Macromedia MX (both figuratively and monetarily), everyone’s telling me that perhaps I should have learned blog or Movable Type. I don’t care how logical this might sound, it’s not good to hear this 48 hours after dedicating oneself to MX. Right now, there’s not a good space to be in at dic and I hate to say it, even with Booblah. I know it’s just me, but damnit, it’s gotta go away.
Now that I’ve gotten off my chest, here are the good things that I’m encountering going forward: 1) I’m in an audience that’s cool- even when I’m exhausted. The BP people are here and it makes me feel special; 2) I’m learning more about MX; still having issues with CSS and frames, but I can get around them for now; 3) I can handle Junior, even after his “releases” (why he gotta let it go three times????) and endless gameplaying with Nomad; 4) I will start with my song reviews very soon (and NO, I’m not feeling Musiq or ‘Cris, no matter how happy I am); and 5) A viewing and review of The Sum of All Fears has my name on it bigtime this weekend. Watch for that too.
Alright, got that off my little chest. I feel much better now. Whew! For a minute there, I thought it was gonna be a pity party.
Thank you. Rant off. You may now return to your regular program.