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bakers dozen – the VMAs.


Shake it like a Polariod Picture!

Baker’s Dozen… The VMAs. From KB’s
Bakers
Dozen
.

1. I’m sure that people out there were secretly fawning Lil’ Jon’s appearance
on stage, and secretly vying for his album…. you all want me to purchase it so y’all can hear tracks on
the next Friday Melodies, right? Riiight.
2. Yes, I know Chaka was a little off key, but by the time she finished off the
set, she had her vocals back. Don’t y’all engage in Chaka hateration now.
3. "Hey Ya" for the best hip hop video was probably the best award.
4. Xtina and Nelly doing a duet (with tapdancing)? Great. Surprised the heck outta
me.
5. Alicia Keys and Stevie Wonder with “If I Ain’t Got You”, also cool.
6. Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, and Lenny Kravitz – “Higher Ground” –
Absolutely, positively classic.
7. Speaking of Lenny Kravitz, what about The Gap commercials? Great! Not Gap,
mind you- just the commercials.
8. JT said: Is
that Vivica Fox on stage shaking it like a salt shaker in coochie cutter shorts?

My thoughts exactly. And, yes, we noticed, even though no one else seemed to.
9. I’m still in the “‘We Want Britney Spears’ Toxic but Not The Rest
Of Her Album’ Club” but don’t tell anyone, alright?
10. Everytime I saw Andre 3000 I started singing ‘shake it like a polariod picture’. I’m
jus’ sayin’.
11. I’m waiting for Farnsworth Bentley to have his own show. If Ali G can do it,
why can’t he?
12. The next time you hear us refer to someone as Weavoncey, then you know who
we mean. Blonde, even? Um, no.

15 Responses “bakers dozen – the VMAs.”

  1. 30 August 2004 at 08:09

    Haven’t seen Lenny’s Gap commercials, although the Target commercial actually have me starting to like the ball of confusion that is Baptism.

  2. 30 August 2004 at 09:06

    I love your synopsis of the award show, ej!
    LMAO @ Weavoncye! That’s classic. What’s with black women and BLONDE hair? I can’t figure that out.Andre3000’s haircut has given him that old SoutherPlayalisticMusic sex appeal again. And Ms. Chaka Khan… *hangs head*.

  3. 30 August 2004 at 09:58

    I thought that was Vivica, but I kept saying “nah, it can’t be…” :-)

  4. 30 August 2004 at 12:33

    i turned the vma’s off right after Linkin Park didn’t win… grrrr… i would LOVE Farnsworth to have his own show! lol@chaka hateration (i’m in the club ~ sarry) your recap was better’n then the show. i’m provoked to catch it on replay (one of the 7000 times that MTV will undoubtedly show it)

  5. Bernard
    30 August 2004 at 12:36

    Chaka was more than a “lil” off key. She’s put on a few more pounds since I saw her last summer… perhaps that’s why she came out off key and breathing heavy (T&A + hair is a lot to carry).
    Weavoncey needed something to take the attention off that horrible “Tina Knowles original”… stop lettin’ yo momma dress you!

  6. 30 August 2004 at 13:15

    When will Bentley have his own show? Ugh!…But Ali G is actually kinda funny. LOL

  7. 30 August 2004 at 13:22

    Vivica? Um, pics?
    Thanks for playing!

  8. 30 August 2004 at 13:56

    yes, V Fox looked a hot mess…i was like after you popped up Kill Bill Volume I and damn near STOLE your scenes as knife “BAAAD ASS BITCH (Vivica’s words about her character)” wielding Vernita Green…(and dont front like yall didnt think for a MINUTE Vernita COULDN’T take The Bride down–if only she hadnt have used that gun and had a few more minutes..:)) she’s producing and starring in a show on Lifetime which is actually doing well (1-800 MISSING), etc.
    and this is the end result? damn….just DAMN.
    Lenny Kravitz–he ceased being relevant when he STOPPED being married to Lisa Bonet…seriously. Nicole Kidman? sheesh you THINK he’d get some pointers from Q-Tip since she wore his ass out with that addictive aussie cooch of hers. and Q-Tip aint been right since…:) lol!
    I’m saying..MTV AND the VMA’S arent really relevant these days…
    and yes WEAVEONCEY is a damn mess..add Vivica to Weaveoncey’s crew b/c that rug she was sporting at the VMA’s was JUST a tad bit too MUCH…:) and no, i dont get the blonde weave effect either..

  9. 30 August 2004 at 19:18

    Hold up, wait a minute! I saw Chaka last weekend, extra pounds and all, and she was on point. Ledisi opened for her and they even sang “What’s Going On” together. Yeah, I know you are saying, “J-Notes? Where is the review?” Hold on baby, it’s coming!!

  10. 31 August 2004 at 00:33

    Sarah Jessica Parker was the wrong choice of female for that Gap commerical. Did you see her trying to pull her jeans up with that flat ass! I mean she had NOOOO ASS! And the skinny-faced bitch couldn’t dance. They should have gotten Ki Toy Johnson. Yeah, right. 😉 A man can dream, dammit!
    As far as Vivica A(ss shakin’) Fox — you can take a hoochie girl out of the ghetto but you can’t take the hoochie out of the girl. I know that was wrong to say, but c’mon. She’s a veteran actress — a worldly lady. There’s no reasoning for coming on stage and popping the coochie for the Ying-Yang Twins. You won’t see Halle Berry doing that shit! 50 might have been justified in dumping homegirl.
    And what’s up with Beyonce and her unweaveable hairstyle and gold bootie shorts? Jay-Z was looking very dapper. Remember when Jigga said “Whadda up, B?” That’s ghetto code word for: “I tapped that ass like 40 times, do you want to get married?” I see an engagement pretty soon.
    John Legend is a superstar in the making. I can’t wait to hear his debut album.
    I wish Andre 3000 performed “Prototype” in its entirety and Big Boi with “Ghetto Musick.” If they really wanted to make a patrotic ending, they should have performed “War.”
    Enough bitchin’. HOLLA!

  11. 31 August 2004 at 20:26

    I’ll co-sign with Trent on the whole Jay-Z and Beyonce vibe. I was feeling that. When Beyonce picked up her award, she returned the favor, she yelled “Whadup Jay” as she walked off the stage. She had a twinkle in her eye too … Dam, this must be luv.

  12. 1 September 2004 at 11:15

    “9. I’m still in the “‘We Want Britney Spears’ Toxic but Not The Rest Of Her Album’ Club” but don’t tell anyone, alright?”
    don’t sleep – brit brit is the bomb. download outrageous and early morning, it might make a believer out of you yet 😉

  13. 2 September 2004 at 08:57

    I happened to turn on the VMAs just in time to see Vivica Fox “stop, then wiggle wit it” and just began to shake my head and weep. But not before utering several expletives and yelling WTF?? at the top of my lungs. Damn Vivica… you had so much potential

  14. 2 September 2004 at 18:16

    I really want to see that Gap commercial. I’ll be damned if I can find it online.

  15. 7 September 2004 at 15:57

    Awww damn – *shaking head* you didn’t have to call Chaka out did you – anyone who knows me knows that I WORSHIP Chaka – she is the Goddess of song…I’m disappointed that she didn’t rock it like I know she can…
    NOW I don’t feel so bad for being in the “We-want-Britney-‘I’m A Slave for You’-but-not-the-rest-of-her-CD” Club a few years back… =)
    And I’m FAR from a lesbian, but in reference to Trent’s comment – Good LAWD Ki Toy Johnson is unbelievable – even I would have to turn my head if she walked by!!!
    Beyonce/Jay-Z how CUTE!!! =))) I love them together. But the weave – yes…we can do without Weavoncey…poor baby…but look at her mama though – she don’t know no better.

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I'm just the kid trippin' over the sea of CDs....