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church rambling


Take a Note: I Went To Church!
[Warning: this is all church rambling….having an iPaq at church to keep me awake caused me to write this blog.]
Okay, if you haven’t guessed I went to church, due to my surrogate brother asking me to go to church, and since I’m helping him with whats going on with his life, I figure that this should be alright. Please note that it’s not something I planned to do. Having been born in NYC and raised in The South, I grew to have an excuse, any excuse, to stay away from church. Now I think of church as a favor, of what my relatives and close friends want. Because of my views, I figure church once a year is plenty…and of course, it also helps to not be starving, sleepy, or have a mild case of a wandering mind.
Strikes 1, 2, and 3.
I hadn’t eaten breakfast and didn’t have my protein shake, because I woke up at 8am and staggered out of the house. Also, Attention Deficit Disorder reared its ugly head in the morning, when I tried to work through all of the things I wanted to do.


During the first hour, all I remember vivdly was when I had to make a physical exertion to show myself and smile and act like everything’s okay. “Will the people who are here for the very first time stand? Thank you. Will the other members pick up tomatoes and throw them at the standing, evil people? Very good.”
Well, they didn’t really say that. I think.
The next order of business was to look up the word consecrate, which means ‘set apart as sacred’. While doesn’t take a lot for me to understand the meanings if I get more than 4 cross-references of where this word is in the Bible (and their explanations) I will scream.
I really prefer the balcony because an overview is important. I can keep my mind occupied on three things happening at the same time. So in the midst of it, we move upstairs. Very cool move because now I can sleep here if I need to or look at all the men and women around on the floor.
I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about church and how I’ve ever considered it to be really helpful in me keeping my mind clear during my trials and tribulations- I like churches that are freer. I like churches that don’t make me stand for more than 15 seconds. But most of all I like churches that don’t make me second guess my life style or my life in particular. This church seems to make me slightly uncomfortable. There are church groups for the single people, but are the men around me who just happen to be single able to embrace other men?
I grew up in 3 different denominations. Holiness (you’re going to hell unless you’re in this church at least 1/4 of your waking time,) Catholic (here’s a cracker and some wine…..now scram), and Lutheran (what can I say, that’s what I get for being intimate with clergy from the church…)
Quotes from the preacher:
1. R. Kelly needs your prayers but not your support. (Now, while I agree with him, isn’t that kind of calling him the devil?)
2. I’m not a gay-basher. God’s love is available for everyone. (This made me stand up and cheer).
Perhaps I will go to church more often. Perhaps.

7 Responses “church rambling”

  1. Bernard
    25 August 2003 at 10:48

    Uh-oh… you done brought up one of the taboo topics… ya didn’t mention, how was the choir?

  2. 25 August 2003 at 11:42

    Hmmm…the last time I was in church was last New Year’s, only because the person I was with at the time is a church queen and I absolutely refuse not to be with my significant on New Year’s. In general, church makes me feel icky, and it has nothing to do with me being a *bad* boy.

  3. 25 August 2003 at 12:03

    i love going to church. although i don’t try to influence others. i am just curious though, people say (not you) but people in general say they don’t go to church because of the contraditctions or the feelings they get from being there but we will parade to the clubs and face the criticism of the body facist, the contradictions of the so-called psuedo DL life, we will dress to thrill for those seeking pleasure from us physically only to later be left with feelings of guilt, resentment and the need for change…yet we won’t abandon the clubs or the people, but we’ll shy away from church at the first sign of chatisement. (is that a word?)….and when i say we i am including myself.
    *and no i didn’t go to church yesterday. LOL!

  4. Bernie
    25 August 2003 at 13:07

    Well, for me, being raised Catholic…well…need I say more?
    I consider myself spiritual, not religious. By that, I mean I consistently seek the best in myself and others, and am also willing to forgive when that best isn’t realized because we are all human beings. I don’t try to push my beliefs on others, nor do I wish to have other’s beliefs forced upon me.
    My problems with organized religion center around their blatant attempts at social conformity ahead of an individual’s need for self-actualization. Christianity especially, as practiced here in America, is more political rhetoric and indoctrination than an avenue for personal growth and fullfillment.
    For the record, I don’t do the clubs or bars, or body politics, or fashion police or any of that other “stereotypical gay lifestyle” nonsense. I strive to be my own person.

  5. 25 August 2003 at 19:32

    “God has no place in these walls just like facts have no place in organized religion!”
    I only go to church for weddings and funerals. And I was raised a Holy Roller!

  6. 26 August 2003 at 10:13

    Eric, I salute you for attending because I know it was not easy for you.
    It is funny how many people look at me and just know I have always been in church. I did not get really active in church until I was about 31. I had avoided it earlier because I knew many of the good saints that attended church from clubbing and it did not want to be a part of it. Also, I was pressured to attend by family in my teens so by not going it was my form of rebellion. Church/religion/spirituality is definitely an individual thing. Church is in the heart.
    Today, I attend a small traditional Baptist church with an openly gay pastor. I selected this church not only because of the pastor but also the genuine warmth and love that I felt there. Now, you will not find me there every Sunday because at this point in life, it is all about balance and sometimes you just need to sleep in and just enjoy the day. It took me awhile to learn that.

  7. 31 August 2003 at 15:57

    Should we celebrate someone’s attendance for going to church, should we slam them for going to church?
    What does it mean when someone goes to church? Does it mean they worship God, does it mean they are sinless, does it mean they are not gay? Does it mean they can not go to a bar, or a club or fornicate or listen to R. Kelly.
    Where in the bible does it say anything special or beneficial about Church goers?
    Anyway I’m just a knowbody making a comment.
    I really enjoyed reading everyones comments.

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I'm just the kid trippin' over the sea of CDs....