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The Next Evolution Of The Sensei

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unashamed/undeclared…


Can I have some peanut butter?
Of course you can!
Oh can I have some peanut butter?
Of course you can!
Can I have some peanut butter?
Of course you can!
Oh can I have some peanut butter?
Get outta here!

Peanut Butter, Lenny White and Twennynine
First thing’s first –
….Happy Happy to George…31 is a great year….I can vouch for that….
How I felt in the early AM:
I’m wondering why I can’t be more introspective in my notes. As much as I would hate to admit it, there’s a fear inside that keeps me more standoffish. There is a lot that needs to be done in order to keep me up to the state of where I used to be. I prided myself to be able to work as much as 16 – 20 hours a day, whether I’m at home being the man for the cause, or the man at work pushing on through until work is done across the nation.
But since I’ve been sick, on disability, in the hospital, having amnesia and recovering from seizures, that doesn’t seem to happen anymore. I’ve really got to pull through this state of mind. I find myself looking at other entries, like Anitra, and wish I could share what I’m thinking about from day to day. Concentration and staying awake is a bit more problematic these days.
Then of course, there’s Prime. When I met him, I was such a different man. In a different place. Able to do a multitude of things. It’s not quite like that now. All of the people I know say it’s okay to be who I am these days, but that’s not quite true in my mind. If I can’t live up to who I want to be, who I used to be, what does that say?
Something’s got to give.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can……
Technically, I’m at version 2.21, although I can’t get Trackback to work the way I would like it to. Yet another issue to work through.
TiVo is recording five episodes of The Wire….I know that trying to watch 5 hours of it is probably not the best thing to do all at once, but between that and resting, The Wire seems to be winning. Pretty good battle to be winning itself too, truth be told.
How I feel in the PM:
After a pretty darned good day, I feel much better about myself. I started with having a nice brunch at Ray’s On The River with Prime & Popi. This is one of my favorite places to hang out, eat, and otherwise carouse the servers. I found myself being able to eat more, which is always a good thing. I managed to get 2.21 up and running without giving me huge fits, and I also got to go to the movies with Prime, Popi, and JJFAD and see Men In Black II. Good thing it was a matinee. I am however feeing for Star Trek: Nemesis, and to a lesser extent, XXX.
After a small nap afterwards, I feel much better about myself. My memory seems to have reasserted itself, and so has introspection. I’m sure it will pick up, seeing as my mind is all over the place these days, and that’s a good thing. I haven’t had to be my regular old technical self in quite a while, so finding other things to do with my time have been a stretch. I think that time is slowly filling itself out, as I’m preparing myself to travel a bit after my birthday. I have this need to get on a plane, stay in a hotel…go somewhere, anywhere. I’m way overdue.
I’m also still needing to be more expressive as time goes on. I don’t dream as much as I should, but I do tend to be more active on things that I declare are a good thing to do, which usually ends up on the positive side.
Oh, and while I’m at it, welcome Ronn. Definitely good to see you!
Back at it…

About EJ

I'm just the kid trippin' over the sea of CDs....